The Fear, Excitment, and Worry of a College Hopeful.

OMG...my senior year will begin in about 2 and a half months. I'm not totally thrilled because my school will be soooooooo different with so many teachers gone. I'm saddened by the thought. In fact last night I was nearly in tears thinking of the fact that I'm not going to see my beloved coaches face...I won't even see much of my lovely gym. I'm not going to rush to practice, and wait impatiently for season because I had to quit. I won't see my chemistry teacher walking down the hallway wearing the smile I've grown used to seeing daily. Her hug will be delayed about 2 months before she can come back for a visit. I won't have a reason to stop by room 306 anymore, I can't enter without the memories of the laughter and tears that have filled the room the last two years. My school, just doesn't feel like my school anymore. Everything I had come to know...is gone. The teachers I've gotten to know, the team I've grown up with...it's all gone. The only thing that will remain is choir. Now to understand my difficulty with this you have to understand that I honestly can't stand lots of change. I like it when things remain the same and I'm not constantly having to deal with a change. Now here I am facing uncontrollable change to the extreme it seems.

As far as the whole college hopeful goes...well that's suddenly become a topic of discussion for my family and I. With the start of my senior year looming in front of me I have some work to do. Choosing classes has to be done carefully. I have to force myself out of the senioritis I'm already feeling. I have to decide whether to go early decision or wait until regular admission time comes. I have to make sure I get recommendations and ask the people in a mannerly time. I have to recount things from my freshman year so that I can get them into my application. And speaking of that's a scary thing itself. I mean all the questions they ask that have to be answered. The essay you have to write well enough to stand out from the rest of the applicants. I mean I'm just now realizing just how much has to go into getting into college. I'm so used to our choice of school here where at the end of the year we decide what school we want to go to and they put us in it.

Now really I'm excited about college. I really am!! I want so badly to get into those classes and dive deep all the while looking to my ultimate goal. Of course my eye has to be kept there or else I'm sure those weaving classes would get me out in a hurry. I look forward to the days without sleep doing projects and homework. I want to be on campus (of course I want my dog to come too, but she can't :(). I want to meet new people and see new things...I mean at this point so much is changing already why not head off to college. I'm so excited about getting that degree and my teaching certificate and being able to start teaching and finally fulfilling my almost life-long dream. I can't wait (of course God has asked me to so I will) for the day that my love for chemistry and my dream of teaching finally come together.

For now I wait. I face the coming school year with strength and peace only God can provide. I only hope that includes allowing me the ability to not break down the moment I step into that building and realize that it's not just a terrible nightmare, but unmistakable reality.

Quote: "If you burn to do it so much that you can't live unless you are fulfilling that dream, then go for it because God has placed that desire there."
-Max Lucado (Sorry not exact don't have text in front of me...will change when available.)