Last Day

Well it's official...my junior year is over...and my senior year will begin in about 3 months!! Although I'm already not looking forward to it...honestly I want soooo badly to be in college. I know it sounds horrible, but I got my heart set on that Chemistry degree and I still have a year of high school and at least 4 years of college to get through first!!

Well as far as my last day...it was interesting. Yesterday I had no exams to take, so despite the fact that I really didn't have to go to school, I choose to because I wanted out of the house and it gave me a chance to chill with my chem teacher for a little bit. Then today I went early before my only exam and was in her room again and after my test went back. So lets just say God blessed me with the opportunity to see her before she goes off to her new school.

There were no goodbyes...only "see you later"s and "peace out"s. We have the hope right now that there will be a later so what's the point of saying goodbye...that means it's forever. We shared in many laughs...more to keep from crying. I'm supposed to call...so see it's never forever. A hug to last for many months...and memories to last for many lifetimes. God's called us to different ways...and we have to follow the path he paves. But by his grace those paths will cross...otherwise we'll be at a loss. We parted ways...with reminders that I only have 1 more year. "It's all about '09"...and then the tears fell. I'm not sure why...there was no goodbye. Only "I'll miss you"s and "See ya later"s. I now sit here wondering...why it always take me so long to see...the love that others have for me. I push it away...until it's time to let it go. The pain I bring upon myself...is the hardest to let go. I sit back now and question...so many things I could have changed. If only I had accepted...and not pushed her away. The greatest times I share with people...are always the last days I have with them. I got to find a way...to enjoy every day. Never throwing away a chance to have friend...cause then my life is happier.

Ok so it sorta rhymes...most of it was not on purpose I think maybe one was. Just thoughts that have been running through my head. I didn't allow myself to realize that this teacher really did care about me until this last week. All I've done is hurt myself but not allowing myself to fully open up to someone who cares. And it's not just with my chem teacher. I've done it with almost every person I've ever known. I make excuses for why they would be kind to me...and it's never because they care. Oh anyway...some things I need to work on...that and making phone calls *gulp*...not my thing but as I told her "I must change my ways" otherwise it will be goodbye...and I'm not gonna have that...it's all about the "see ya later"s!! Ok well I hope you have an awesome day if you are reading this!!

Quote: "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened"
- Dr. Seuss